Hello Lucid My Old Friend

Dreaming of walking to see my ex-Steve, see 2 dead King brown snakes, miss seeing 3rd one still alive but dying, as I walk pass, it bites me. Walk to Steve for help, and Karen turns up on a horse to inject me with anti-venom. Now the song Holy grail won’t leave my head, especially certain verses

Woke up this morning, from the strangest dream I was in the biggest army, The world has ever seen We were marching as one, on the road to the holy grail

Started out,

We were foolish beings But we were dying like flies And those big black birds, they were circling in the sky, And you know what they say, yeah, Nobody deserves to die.

Oh I, I've been searching for an easy way to escape the cold light of day I've been high, and I've been low But I've got nowhere else to go There's nowhere else to go

I followed orders God knows where I'd be But I woke up alone, all my wounds were clean I'm still here I'm still a fool for the Holy Grail Oh yeah, I'm a fool for the Holy Grail

They reverberate in my head at moment. And this is my first lucid dream in a while. For me the dream and the song feel so significant in my soul. Snake denotes healing and transformation; poisonous snake indicates a trauma suffered. When you are the one that is bitten in a dream this is a warning of outside sources that are working against you. Normally these sources are other non-supportive people that are jealous, envious, or insecure about your own abilities. Even the colour of the snake-brown, earth, ground myself, become my strong Oak Tree. Karen on the horse- Karen is a vet nurse, horse is all about represent your energy or drive to express your authentic self and succeed in life. A reflection of how well you deal with your primitive desires and urges, whether you live with them in harmony or if they are difficult to control. They bring the energy of sex and sexuality, riding a horse may also represent how we control the driving forces in our life. This could include sexuality, but also creativity, survival drive, or the energy spent providing for oneself or a family.

Steve, I’m not sure, why he was there, our relationship was far from perfect, maybe because Wayne is not far from my thoughts. Though I’m getting on with my life, he pops into my mind allot, maybe it’s the craving of a male affection & intimacy. It gives me much to ponder let alone the song- looking for the holy grail in life, my life plan, what I’m reaching out for, in my dreams and manifestations. Breaking my toe has ground me to a halt, beside pain, and finding I’m having to rest, and feeling unwell and tired. Last night I felt so vulnerable, and the tears flowed. A beautiful brother rang at that moment, he was popping in for a few things. He is back from amazing trip to Columbia. With him I talked about what was travelling around in my head. What I was seeing with people, the medicine work, my dreams, my grounding to halt, my vulnerability and the feeling of being weak, the owning of my part in things, that on a conscious level I allow to happen. He shared his wisdom and his journey. And he was glad I’m crying. I love his non-judgement and the fact I feel completely safe to be so bare with him. We talk about the spiritual bullshit flowing around and the masks people use within this community to beguile people and they use” I’ve done this, so I’m the best”, ego at play. How people are so full of crap. You see it allot at spiritual fairs. As my sight and intuition is showing me stuff, that blows my mind, especially when I get a bad feeling but can’t put my finger on it, but then I find out truth, and my intuition serves me right. I love people who are original, who create from their own crazy, not stealing from others, but I also know there is a karmic force here, and the Universe is watching, because we chose this path, this adventure, we signed on the dotted line, before we were born. So, all we can do is sit with heart wide open, and trust in the journey, learn from it. And of late, with a few of my crazy Bro’s, the conversation has been around the Universe and the twisted role he plays, we even have conversations around The Universe’s gender, don’t get us wrong, we fully respect the Universe, but his game plan can be twisted. I find myself looking up, and going really, fuck me. You see I feel he has this all sorted, and certain things have to happen first, before you can move further along your path, its like lighting up the street lights one by one, Crow’s medicine-step into the dark to see the light, and their you will be reminded about magic and synchronicity of life, we have do die to rebirth, letting go of the crap-The verse of the song

We were foolish beings But we were dying like flies And those big black birds, they were circling in the sky, And you know what they say, yeah, Nobody deserves to die.

We must truly believe in where we are going, what we truly want and trust in the Universe, even though at times I do wonder about him. I get this picture of a Transvestite, dressed up for a stage show, directing from the clouds. Yes, I have a twisted mind, I’m the one who tells my clients to cage the monkey and put a gimp ball in its mouth. Yes, I look at life slightly twisted.

And yes, I know we are in crazy energy right now, but for me the Universe spoke loud-Slow the fuck down. I’m in this hurry to get where I want to go, to bring what I need into fruitation, to create the whole picture for myself. That I’m tired, my creative spark is struggling at mo., and I know I’m going through another transformation of letting go. And its my creativity which is the powerhouse for me. Even my Bro last night, felt my tiredness. Trying to sit down and rest, keep my foot elevated, is a practice that I haven’t perfected but I’m working at it. And I’m constantly caging the monkey & putting the gimp ball in its mouth, at the moment, and doing my best to fall into deep trust.

I find this inward looking, very eye opening, the working through those layers within myself is so interesting, and the murky waters within that I am trying to clear. I’m also a very blessed person, with the whanau around me I have. My crazy soul brothers and sisters, some are as twisted as me, and those conversations bring roars of laughter, and to the walker by- a blush to their cheeks. And that makes me smile, because sometimes crazy must be the norm.

We all walk very differently but the same, each of our paths are here for a reason, some paths will cross, and some won’t. But I can say life is never boring, and those who have crossed me path, thank you, those who taught me pain, thank you, those who are not part of my life anymore, thank you, and those who walk with me now, thank you and to my big toe, thank you, for being my present teacher.